Adoration for Innocence

You see, it’s been a while since I updated this blog, and I don’t even know if anyone would even be reading this! I’ve been busy tweeting, drawing, and even writing fanfics and original web novel, Magical Idols HiFuMI NovA!

There are lots of things that have changed during the times I didn’t use to blog. Including me having a new OTP, Malasadashipping— which I will write about sometime later, me moving on from KagePro and obsessing over Jin’s new project NIRVANA instead, and other kinds of stuff I may or may not be able to mention here.

There’s one thing that hardly changes; my adoration for children-aimed series, and their innocence.

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My brother always finds me strange that I found solace in animes like Aikatsu, Pripara and Precure. He even said I’m not the age to obsess over children anime… Well, after all, when I went to the arcade to play Aikatsu, I’m always this auntie– though for most, I looked like I’m 15-17, I’m actually more than 20 years old.

Yes, I adore children anime. Not only those three titles I mentioned above now, even I started watching the Pokemon Sun&Moon anime now in wish to see my favorite in game, Hau (and of course, being let down every episode because he just won’t appear, damn).

I can’t explain this to my brother, of course. He won’t just get it, hell, even I don’t understand why I do love them more than anything, but I find it a calming place for me. This post will be the randomness of my thought, anyway.

 

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…of something different.

 

But looking about how the world has opened up for me as I grew up– and how it scared me, might be a reason why. As I grew up and realized I was different in some ways– for example, me realizing that I’m bisexual. This world isn’t going as well as an Aikatsu episode, one that ends happily every single time. There’s a lot of bad things, people who want to destroy things and cause other people harm in the names of money, position, or even God, bad things that happen to the even best of people.

To think of it, this might be some kind of Peter-Pan syndrome, isn’t it?! I adore the innocent world where everything can be resolved with the power of friendship and love, that I adore children shows.

But… I still want to think positively that… well, it’s not impossible to make a good world. We have no Precure in this world to protect us from harm, but maybe, just maybe, if every people think of spreading the love. Children anime made me realize that….

Ahaha, what I’m talking about? This blog is supposed to be my happy place! Why am I writing depressing things?!

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Oh well, let’s go all way with it… Those who followed this blog might know already how Aikatsu means a lot for me. Well, there’s more to it lately. I’ve been depressed a lot for a while this semester, and one day, I listened to this song from Aikatsu Stars, and,

‘Should you find yourself lost and stuck at a crossroad
Simply close your eyes and listen to your heart’s voice
It will guide you with the words, “Never give up”
As you go forth and aim for the world that you saw’

Let’s just say, I cried that one time. That one time where I ran away from class because I was too depressed, the one time I thought of ending it all.

This song, Start Line, means that much for me, that I even felt like I could start crying right now… It also made me realize my dream. One day, I will design clothes for shows like Aikatsu or Pripara, and I want to make people realize their dreams and be motivated by it….

As you can see, Aikatsu never failed to safe my life…. I might not be able to explain why I adore the world of innocent children shows properly yet. But it had become such an important part of my life, one that I cannot erase, one that helped me realize, maybe this world is worth living.

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