With my Own Pace

Well, not a very interesting post since I’m posting this for myself, but… Juggling between mobile games, doing creative fanworks, and college, there’s something important I have just come to notice recently.

I realized how much of a perfectionist I am despite how I see myself not being one; as I thought I usually do things mostly ‘just as I could’ve done’, as in— okay, since English is hard and I find a better word in Japanese, 適当… Which Google Translate gives me the meaning of ‘suitable’ (Being bilingual is just being like this all the time, don’t mind me).

Once others pointed that out, I finally went ‘oh, so I’m like that’, though, so it’s not like I’m not completely unaware. I’m always so bad at this kind of things. But anyway, I realized that I never did things until the very end because of this perfectionist side in myself.

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Nikita: Aw, c’mon! You’ve been pushing our stories for too much! I’m dying to meet cute girls fans!

I never finished the Magical Idol Hifumi NoVA project I’ve been dying to write— I planned to continue it somewhere during this year, but it doesn’t go that smoothly. Neither does my series of fanfiction, like the ShuFuta ones or even continuing the Cinderella Girls Producer stories. Of course, that’s not the only reason but a huge part of it.

I always wanted to do my best and I thought I’m worthless if I didn’t, subconsciously. But then, my recent… troubles with family and school, to be said, made me realize that I don’t really have to hurry up and be the best, and it’s okay to make mistakes sometimes to improve as long as you’d progress. Everyone has their own paces, and I’d only have to do that slowly but surely.

It’s hard to change my mindset, I know. I still desperately want to hurry up and steps out of my comfort zone, but I know rushing it out wouldn’t mean anything good. After that realization, my life feels slightly better.

Then, I decided to re-read event Cagliostro’s Fate Episode and she said a pretty good point.

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Thanks, I love you so much.

So, what’s the plan of improving things with my pace from now on? Even if I’m rambling about how I’m still in my comfort zone, it’ll be useless if I do nothing and not be productive as with these last 2 days. And so, I made this post to remind myself as a step out of my zone. Of course, these are, besides college and studies I deemed as a private matter (but still, I’ll do my best on those too!)

  1. I have to update my blog much more frequently. Which I’m trying to do first with this post. Also update more frequently on Indonesian Otaku which I’m a part of now.
  2. Continue Mrs. Producer fan series. I made that series to stay consistent. Anyway, I’m planning to do it in the month when I don’t feel like writing on my blog and if I wasn’t busy studying. So maybe, I’m going to make Mrs. Producer series once a month update. I hope.
  3. Write fiction too on my writing blog, a little more at least once every two weeks. Maybe, once a month, I’d write an original one.
  4. Draw something decent or digitally finished, at least once a week.
  5. A goal of mine is to make a Pripara fan series as elaborate as Letsudraw’s. This isn’t the main goal, but I’m hoping to do this once I hit more than 10 strips on Mrs. Producer so I could’ve given it a break, or finish one of my ongoing ShuFuta fanfiction.
  6. And lastly, another goal is to do a vlog or Twitch stream. I’m still way too anxious to do this, but if anyone would’ve watched me playing games (since for these times when I stream I made them private on FB), greet me up on the comment! It’ll be a confidence boost.

Anyway, I’m still not sure if I could’ve gone far with this goal. But I hope I could’ve been more productive after this post~

P.S: The girl in the featured image is Rona from Tokyo 7th Sisters, which I started recently. I love this game and her so much already.

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